I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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