So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
