You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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