Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
