I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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