so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
