i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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