I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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