wat bout pragnant strippers??
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
