u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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