I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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