it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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