Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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