I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
