I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just cropdusted the office
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
