Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
