So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
