Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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