if only i could text you this smell
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
