you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
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I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
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The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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