i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
