I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
