i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
