I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.