Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall

(402): View more from Nebraska

...welcome to nebraska

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(402): i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall (402): ...welcome to nebraska http://tfl.nu/cxvz

Replies (56) Good night (2558) Bad night (944)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

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(304): you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life http://tfl.nu/wcmr

Replies (12) Good night (6047) Bad night (851)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.

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(203): doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student. http://tfl.nu/a880

Replies (55) Good night (2022) Bad night (7738)
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(206): View more from Washington

I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.

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(206): I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day. http://tfl.nu/kwoe

Replies (32) Good night (2371) Bad night (1120)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.

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(308): Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick. http://tfl.nu/8mtk

Replies (12) Good night (3410) Bad night (838)
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(971): View more from Oregon

Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster

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(971): Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster http://tfl.nu/bpg2

Replies (2) Good night (884) Bad night (1251)
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(585): View more from New York

So stoned i forgot i was in bed

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(585): So stoned i forgot i was in bed http://tfl.nu/69t5

Replies (1) Good night (1017) Bad night (451)
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(801): View more from Utah

An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.

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(801): An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts. http://tfl.nu/r3r6

Replies (5) Good night (544) Bad night (927)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.

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(617): We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water. http://tfl.nu/gx4i

Replies (2) Good night (985) Bad night (667)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight

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(902): Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight http://tfl.nu/n0ex

Replies (8) Good night (1252) Bad night (472)
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(561): View more from Florida

Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.

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(561): Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences. http://tfl.nu/x85v

Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (976)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That's right. I did.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That's right. I did.

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(403): That's right. I did. (403): You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing. (403): That's right. I did. http://tfl.nu/55sv

Replies (5) Good night (371) Bad night (528)
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(248): View more from Michigan

No piss test, hell yeah

(248): View more from Michigan

FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.

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(248): No piss test, hell yeah (248): FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS. http://tfl.nu/hck1

Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (841)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.

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(320): An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made. http://tfl.nu/7315

Replies (6) Good night (624) Bad night (445)
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(631): View more from New York

So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone

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(631): So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone http://tfl.nu/jbdz

Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (397)

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