But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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