Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My ATM looks so different sober.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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