i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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