In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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