speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry