Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
did you get engaged???
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho