oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
