Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
