I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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