i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
