I love black thongs
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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