I have demons in me.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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