We're like a lot better than the average bears
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
