Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
