why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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