I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize