Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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