i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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