I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize