what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
