and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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