We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
