It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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