420 ftw
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
