I'm laying in your front yard are you home
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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