Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
