The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
