For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
