I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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