you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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