"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
