you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
