Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just cropdusted the office
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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