i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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