Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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