a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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