where am i from again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize