I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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