No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Vodka?
Forever.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
