Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
