Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
