I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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