she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
