Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
