talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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