I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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