when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
